New Adventures

Tim will be traveling about 5 hrs north for 5 days/week starting this week or perhaps next week. He has had a job offer that just couldn't be turned down. Full insurance, great pay and housing included! We are looking forward to paying off the remaining few bills that we still have. That fills like a never ending battle. We are also hoping to put some money away for other things as well. Please keep our family in your prayers as we once gain go through a life changing experience.

Bitter Sweet Goodbye

My little boy, how I will miss you. I am overcome with emotion as I think back on all the things I have watch you learn. My thoughts then turn to all the things I will never see you do and I am saddened even more. But then I think about your mother and how I would feel if I were in her shoes. I bet she was filled with sadness the day you left her home, regardless of what she did or didn't do. I am sure she felt empty as she sat in her quiet home as I am right now. I close my eyes and try to imagine your reunion, a tearful one I am sure. The joy and excitement she must be feeling as she holds you in her arms knowing that you are there to stay. I pray that Our Father and Creator will wrap you both in his arms and help them during this joyous time. I pray that she understands how special, smart and sweet you are. I pray that she will have the strength to make wise decisions when it comes to you. I pray that she will to come to know the Lord and the power that he has to help us through the difficult times. I pray that she does not see us as the enemy but as simple parents who also love her little boy with all our hearts. I pray that God gives me he strength to pick up the pieces left behind so that I can help another child in need of a safe loving home. I pray that my parents will also find strength in Gods love during this sad time. I couldn't be the loving parent I am with out there support. I also pray for my husband and oldest son that God will comfort them through their sadness. It is with these words that I say Amen.

Update

Today our little foster son went home to spend the weekend with his Parents. The house is already quiet and he has only been gone for 4 hours. Please keep him, his parents and our family in your prayers. We all need the strength that only the Lord can provide. He will be back on Tuesday and then will go back to his parents forever on Thursday.

Let The Tears Fall.

I knew it was coming. It was just a matter of time. The dreaded words telling us that our bundle of joy is going home soon. I try to be strong but I feel as though I am falling apart piece by piece. I keep reminding my self that at least we had 5 months with him. Look at all the love and attention he received from us. We kept him safe. He has heard the word of the Lord and I know the Holy Spirit will work through that. But secretly in the back of my mind I had hoped he would be mine forever. I always seem to do that. But this time it was different. He was a baby. I have longed for a baby of my own for so long and the Lord finally delivered one. Even if it was for a short time. Since he has been in our home we have watched him do many firsts. He started crawling, eating solid foods by him self, talking (a little) and now he is on the verge of walking. I wish I could share pictures with you but it is not safe. I once had a friend ask me if it made me mad. I said what? He replied well you spend so much time and energy teaching these children many things like talking, walking and possibly potty training. Then they are gone and you don't get to see who they grow up to be. I replied that it doesn't make me mad but rather sad. Sad that I won't get to watch him grow and learn new things, sad that he may never hear of Jesus again when he goes home, sad for my family who will miss him greatly and sad for my parents who give their hearts to these children and treat them like their own grand children. But then I think of their own families who have made poor choices but are really trying to get their lives in order. They followed all the rules and miss their babies. My heart goes out to them and the tears that they have shed. I know if it were me I would want my baby back. So sadly but willingly I will let him go with lots of love and tears. God has called me into this position of foster mom. He will never give me anything I can not handle. I know that during the following weeks while I am crushed and my house becomes terribly quiet God will be carrying me untill I can stand on my own again. The children in my classroom asked me why I was crying the other day and I told them. One of the little boys who has a big heart said " Mrs. Sutton is happy and sad at the same time." He also told his mom that I cry because God has given me a soft heart. This is true and I am asking for all of your prayers as in the coming weeks I will be saying good by and picking up the pieces he has left behind.